Ar-shur

No, this is not my bedroom...

My daughter is going through a phase where she compares things and wants everyone to match.  When Daddy takes a drink, she points at me, says "Mama wa-wa!" and waits for me to take a drink.  Then she picks up her cup.  "A-luh-luh wa-wa!"

She finds it quite amusing and a little disconcerting when there is not complete parity.  Like, in the morning when we are all still in our PJs.  "Mama shrt" (shirt)  "A-luh-luh shrt"  Then, shaking her head and wrinkling her brow, "Daddy shrt"

She now notices how large my baby belly has become (especially because it makes it hard for her to sit in my lap...)  A funny game has arisen from this in which she pats my belly and says "Be-be mama tummy".  Then she pats her own stomach, grins with the knowledge she is about to make a joke and says, "Be-be?  No!"  Next, of course, is "Daddy?  Be-be? No!"  In her 16-month-old way, she understands.

Then it got complicated.  One of her favorite summertime treats has been to snuggle with us in bed in the morning when she wakes up.  She thinks it's great fun to sleep on Daddy's pillow or Mama's pillow.  With a giggle, she throws her face into whichever pillow she's named and wiggles her whole body in glee.  When we make the bed, we have two pillows in shams and a little throw pillow that we place at the head of the bed.  What natural conclusion did she draw? The throw pillow is "A-luh-luh piwo"  The twist came a couple of weeks ago when I started sleeping with another throw pillow from our couch to prop up my ever-growing abdomen.  Whose pillow was that?  She was very puzzled.  Her dad explained that it was Baby Arthur's pillow.  Her eyes lit up.  "Tummy?" "Yes, Baby Arthur is growing inside of Mommy."  Now, whenever she sees the pillows on the bed, she names all four of them.  Daddy piwo.  Mama piwo.  A-luh-luh piwo.  Ar-shur piwo. 

This morning as we made the bed, I freaked out for a moment.  What if, months from now, when that pillow is back on our couch, she persists in calling it Arthur's pillow?

One of the bittersweet facts we have faced is that our daughter is really too young to truly grasp what is happening.  She probably won't be as affected by the loss of her brother as an older child would be.  We are thankful for this protection of her little heart.  But then we grieve that she won't remember Be-be Ar-shur growing inside of Mama.  She will only have our stories to remind her of her funny games with tummies and pillows. I've made a mental note to take video of her talking about "Ar-shur".  I want to remember her sweet baby voice saying his name.